Home again…

We all are… Ryan is home, safe and sound, and we have traveled to our new home in Colorado Springs.  It is so good to be together again… so good to be whole.  We got our house and get our household goods tomorrow.  I am so looking forward to settling in again.  I’ll be back when things slow down a bit… right now there is so much going on!

Living!!!
Courtney

Every journey starts with just a step…

Tomorrow, Ryan will be home.  Isaac doesn’t know yet and I’m so excited to see his face when Daddy comes out of that doorway!  It’s been seven VERY LONG months… I can’t wait to just BE again… We are two weeks out from moving to Colorado and I’m READY!

The countdown is on…

Ryan should be home in three weeks.  I can’t wait… no really, I don’t think I can. 

Today we got offered a house… and we accepted it!  It is more than I could have hoped for… but then… if there is one thing I’ve learned it’s that God always takes care of us.

Here is the floor plan and some pictures if you want to see what it will be like…

http://www.tierra-vista.com/ArticleDocuments/3230/SNCO%203A.pdf.aspx

We are so excited… It looks like Ryan, Isaac, and I will be heading for Colorado Springs mid January.  We’ll be there for about 10 days before my Mom and Dad join us with our other car and our pup (we can’t take him with us because they don’t have a pet friendly TLF while we wait to get the keys so they are going to stay back in AZ until that happens but we can’t wait because Ryan doesn’t have enough leave) and we move in! 

That’s about all of the news I have for now… things are absolutely LOONEY here. 

Courtney

Time is relative…

Is anyone else just blown away that Thanksgiving is in four days?  I can’t believe how this year has flown… and yet the 179 days without Ryan have dragged by…  I know that the time remaining for us to be apart is short but at this point every day feels like an eternity! 

I am so grateful for the change in plans… I can’t imagine if it had stayed JUNE!  But… I’m about ready for this to be done… Do you realize that Ryan has missed 24.5 months of Isaac’s 42.5 months of life?  That’s more than half of his life Ryan has missed and though I’m ever so grateful for the miracle of technology…

I’m ready to be HOME as a fully knit together family once more.

Courtney

Another day, another change!

It’s been just shy of two weeks since my last post… almost three weeks since we got the news that we would be moving to Florida and would be apart for another six months.

I won’t lie, I’ve been pretty despondent.  I miss my best friend, I miss who my boy is when Daddy is around, I miss my house and my pretty things, I miss my life.  Six more months felt like a death sentence.  When I finally gave it over to God and tried to find the silver lining I started to even out… but there was always this thought in the back of my head… “How am I going to do this?”

One week ago everything changed, again.

We got news (out of the blue on a Sunday afternoon) that we are now going to Schriever AFB in Colorado Springs (our dream assignment) and instead of June, we will be reunited in late December or early January!!!

I can honestly say that I did not see that coming!

God has blessed us greatly… I simply can not wait for this new adventure to begin.

Courtney

Frost may not touch my roots but the wait is making me crazy!

It’s been one week since we learned the news of our extended separation and our move to Florida.  I think we might just be okay.  😛 

There is some chance that Ryan will be home closer to the end of February instead of the end of April but the decision rides on one man and he’s had it in hand since Monday… and so we wait. 

I crave your prayers for calm, for answers, for favor, for sanity…

Courtney

Deep roots are not reached by the frost…

I’m blog jumping again… I just don’t seem to be able to find a HOME like Xanga was for all of those years.  I was Fallensparrow there… Here I am “Notallthosewhowanderarelost32” because I wander, all over, and know just exactly who and what I am…  I am a daughter of the King, I am a mother, I am a wife, I am an Air Force spouse, I grow no moss, I keep my roots in a pot so I can move them at the whim of the Air Force, I have a ministry in crochet (which sounds silly but it’s true), I have a tea set that I never have a friend to invite over to enjoy, and I’m me…

I’ve lived in Arizona, Germany, Texas, Turkey and just found out that we are about to move to Florida.  We live in one great adventure and at times I’m weary and at others I’m excited to move forward with a spring in my step.

You can join me if you wish 🙂

An avite-tation!

For the past week or so Isaac has asked me for “Jesus stories” at bedtime every night. For three nights now he’s wanted to hear the story of Jesus dying on the cross and living again. 

(Where that came from I’ll never know but be still a Momma’s heart all the same!)

Tonight he asked me a bunch of questions about Jesus and His life and basically wanted to make sure He was a real person. We talked about it for a while and then this,

“Momma, I’m ready to avite (how he says invite which is adorable) Jesus to live in my chest and be my best friend.”

Holding back the tears was difficult as we said a prayer asking Jesus into his little heart.

When we finished he hugged my neck and told me thank you for helping and then he said,

“Momma, that makes me so happy and sunshine inside and now Jesus is my warrior too!”

It’s moments like these…

 

Please be the Gilbert to my Anne, the Wesley to my Buttercup?

I’ve been watching Anne of Green Gables for three days and I started reading the books again as well.  As with random things in life, it got to me. BIG TIME.

I started thinking about the girl I was when Ryan and I married… I compared her to who I have become and I am not satisfied.  I think the moment that Isaac was born I lost myself… not only did I have a baby, I spent almost 2 of the next 3 years alone, and, with the birth of my son, I got sick… and I kicked into survival mode… I feel as if I have never left.  

In the middle of the night I messaged Ryan.  I was in shock when I woke this morning and read it.  I decided to share it because it has so much truth in it… and I feel like maybe some of these truths don’t just apply to us.

“It’s after midnight and I can’t sleep.
I have been lonelier for you these past three days than any other day you’ve been gone since Isaac was born. I’ve been in survival mode for far too long and I’m scared to death it will simply become our norm.  

I want to love you passionately. I want to know every single day that my life is not, and can not be, mundane simply because you are in it. I don’t want to forget why we are together or sweep our love for each other under the rug because it’s safe and we have bigger things to worry about, only to find it gone when we go looking. 

I want to miss you every day not just because my work without you is more but because I’m missing a part of me that went with you. 

I want to be barely able to keep my hands off of you when we’re together and feel as if you feel the same. 

I want our extraordinary love story to stay strange and real and NOT NORMAL. 

I don’t want a rut, I want “As you wish” 

I don’t want a white picket fence, I want “Swords drawn against the world” 

I want to be Anne and Gilbert through all the long years.

Most importantly, I want Isaac to know he was the product of THAT love not the dampener of it… or worse, for him to never know we felt that way once.

I love you with all of my heart and I want to learn to live that again.”

Truth… every word.  

Time to get to work… 

Courtney

September

I can’t believe September is upon us!  Time is a funny thing… it feels as if Ryan left only a month ago and yet it is hard to remember anymore what life is like with him in it…  It’s been almost 4 months since we moved to AZ… Just about halfway there!

Oh and September is spider season up here in the pines… these suckers are giant!  This one is about the size of the pad of your thumb PLUS the legs!  She is not the biggest I’ve seen here either!!!