The Caper of the Nearly Spoiled Birthday

capersToday was my 36th birthday.  The day started with my sweet baby boy snuggled up with me, whispering in my face, at 12:05am, “Momma, I’m the first one to say happy birthday to you!!!” with his blue cheese vomit breath.  Oh yeah… that happened.

At 11:55pm of October 24th I was shaken awake by my husband.  The shaking was accompanied by the frantic plea, “Courtney, wake up, oh please wake up…  Isaac just vomited… EVERYWHERE!” This launched me out of bed, sans glasses, and I stumbled, my whole body shaking from the abrupt interruption of sleep, into the hall bath to see my kiddo retching into the toilet… I was accosted by a wall of stink… blue cheese, capers, acid, vomit… just NO!!!

Ryan was getting him stripped down and into the shower and so I turned to his room to asses the damage.  The room was unspeakable.  My toes squished on the carpet.  His poor stuffed animals were a loss and every scrap of bedding was in need of scooping and scrapping and then a hot wash and dry.  Let me just repeat… my toes squished on the carpet… let that sink in… because my toes did.

I made my way across the room to see how bad it was and as I closed in on the piles of blue cheese vomit my stomach started to churn… the closer I got the more detail came into focus (remember I was not wearing my glasses) and suddenly I could see piles of little undigested capers and it was all over.  I began to heave and I ran, feet splashing, back out of the room.

I took over the care of the boy and my heroic husband took over clean up.  I got Isaac cleaned up and dressed and tucked into bed with me where we cuddled and he told me happy birthday.  He couldn’t sleep just yet but said he was feeling so much better.  Ryan cleaned forever and 4 bottles of cleaner, a mop with bleach, a roll of paper towels, 3 loads of laundry, 2 showers, the carpet cleaner, and a bucket of chlorox wipes later he finally came into our room to get Isaac who was resting quietly.

Just as he said, “Okay buddy…”  Isaac fast crawled to the edge of the bed and started heaving right over the edge of our bed into my Turkish silk shag carpet. In between heaves he said “I’m so sorry… *SPLASH*… but at least… *URP*…I saved… *SPLASH HORK*…your sheets…*UUUUUGHHHG PLOP*….Momma.”

This was followed by a scramble to get him to the toilet and another long haul of cleaning and this time picking cheese chunks and capers out of silk shag. *shudder*  We finally put him into his bed WITH A BUCKET at 2:45am.  He threw up twice more and went on to sleep until almost 10:30am.  Needless to say he did not go to school today.

My best guess?  The capers… that only he ate… because he loves them so… had turned.  And thus explains the title… The caper of the nearly spoiled birthday.

My poor boy.

He kept down toast and was feeling so much better so we held to a loose approximation of our plans for the day.  Mom and I went shopping for my birthday as is tradition and we had a lovely time… though it was a bit short due to a very late start.  (That’s what happens when no one sleeps.  And believe me it’s hard to sleep when someone is running a carpet shampooer for an hour in the middle of the night.  My poor parents… that’s some vacation they are having!!!)  The guys took him along on their excursions and he had a blast and we all came back together and had a lovely pot roast dinner (though I say so myself!)

NO CAPERS!!!

Until next year,
Courtney

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