After simply hours I believe that I have visited everyone and caught up for the most part. I hope that I’ll be able to keep up from now on… I have missed all of you so much!
I know it has been sometime since I have been on in a regular way. I hope I have not lost too many of you because of it!
After weeks of trying to figure out how to repair my laptop and get everything up and running we ended up buying a new laptop (I’m in love by the way!) All said and done we may even end up being able to have the other repaired in the future so that Ryan will have one for TDY’s and the like. So here I am once more, hopefully to stay this time! Please forgive me for my absence!
Once upon a time there was a young woman. Some would call her pretty, though she had always thought handsome was probably more appropriate, due to her large nose, strong jaw, and thin lips. Some would say she possessed wisdom beyond her years, yet she would tell you it’s only a bit of common sense. She was tall and thin, I believe that the popular phrases for her body type are slim and tall; however long, lanky and coltish are a bit more like it to tell the truth. This is all quite beside the point I endeavor here to make. Suffice it to say that she had been called many things before and would be called a plethora of things in the years to come. The one thing she was never called was graceful.
So many times in her life she has proven that she is quite a klutz… something she had hoped to grow out of, but she never quite managed to do so in the end. She can constantly be found with bruises in varying shades of the rainbow adorning her limbs. In truth she is very lucky to be whole as far into life as she has progressed and fortunate that dirt doesn’t bother her to excess (due to her childhood of tom boyishness)
Such events as “The Fall of 1988”, “The Great Lighting Electrocution of 1996”, “The Tarzan Fence-Meets-Face Incident of 1999”, “The Incredible Stair-is-now-a-trapdoor-while-she-carries-groceries-up-to-her-apartment Accident of 2001”, “The Amazing I-slid-into-home-on-the-pavement-in-front-of-Mimi’s Escapade of 2004”, and “The Cabinets-are-out-to-kill-me Fiasco of 2006”, adorn her oh so colorful past but today, ah today my dear readers I shall account to you the “Pride-Goethe-Before-The-Fall Incident of 2007”!
As she walked around the building into the large grass field a gentle spring breeze caressed her cheek. She smiled into the glorious sun, gone for so many months from this land, and sped up a bit. Her husband walked by her side enjoying the day almost as much as she. Today was a perfect day for a play date with their two loyal and very much loved canine companions, Gandalf and Yoda.
They bent down over the harnesses of the boys and prepared to unhook the leashes that held them in place…
“Ready boys?” she called.
In an instant they were released and off at a run chasing birds. The proud parents followed them into the yard with toys in hand, smiles on their faces, and hearts willing to run and play in this warm spring afternoon.
Who could have predicted the disaster that was soon to befall the young family?
After a lovely interval of tug-o-war and fetch the young couple decided to run with the dogs, so as to get some real exercise… In a flash she ran left and he right, the dogs splitting to chase them.
She looked back over her shoulder to see that her veritable horse, Gandalf, had chosen to chase her, as he always did, and was hot on her heels and behind him she saw that Yoda had gone after her husband.
Here is where you expect the tragedy is it not dear reader? You would think so but alas it is not so. You may ask why I choose to use the word alas but soon you will know all.
She neared the end of the field and turned to play tag with Gandalf. He pranced and jumped all around her with his big happy grin, enjoying the play after a long winter of endless quiet hours. But after a time they both began to tire.
She looked to the far side of the field to see that Yoda and her husband seemed to be finished playing as well.
She called out, “Are you ready to go in?”
“Yes! Come back!” He called out to her.
She feinted one way and ran the other in order to get Gandalf to once again chase her; for neither of them would take harm at a bit more exercise (Or so she had thought) She was about halfway back when she realized that her husband was watching her run. She grinned a little, lifted her chin, shook her hair and sped up… (For what husband doesn’t like to watch his wife run to him from time to time?)
And then she spied it! A way to impress him, a way to make herself look coordinated and a little less girly, Yoda’s little squeaky toy! She quickly thought to herself how impressive would it be if she could kick it back to where he stood without breaking stride?! She giggled in delight at the great achievement she was about to make.
Let me pause here, dear reader, to inform you of a most dire result of this little giggle. It was, of course, much louder than she had intended as she was running full speed at the time. And the volume was great enough to draw the attention of; the four gate guards checking in cars, the people across the street walking their dogs, the man waiting at the bus stop at the end of the field, and of course it captured the attention of every person in the 8 cars sitting in line to get on base with their windows rolled down so that they might hand the guard their ID cards. This in itself would cause a smidgen of embarrassment to the young woman being that she doesn’t actually like to be the center of attention but, trust me, oh trust me dear reader that this little twinge is far out shadowed by the shame of what happens next.
She finally reached the toy, brought down her foot to kick it, and…
Do you know what happens when you plant your foot down solid in the midst of a dead run? No? Well she does!
Suddenly she was reeling forward trying ever so hard to regain her balance but alas, it was not to be! She did a face plant into the soggy turf and slide a good five feet in the mud leaving a trail of ripped up grass in her wake. As she slid to a stop she lay there in horror listening to the snickers and chortles of the gate guards and the coughs and clearing throats of the people in their cars coming onto base. And as her large loving dog dug his cold wet nose into her neck to inquire if she was okay and the people began to laugh in earnest she got to her knees, snatched up the toy and yelled…
“I’ve got it!”
Having given everyone a reason to roar, she hobbled back to her husband in shame (for she had bruised both knees and sent her belt buckle digging into her abdomen most painfully) and waited for him to stop laughing at her so hard that snot and tears flowed… (If there was anyone that had not laughed at the moment of impact they were laughing now, for who can resist when the woman’s owe loving husband can not?) She walked back home with her little family and sincerely hoped that this would be the last of it…
Ah but alas dear reader it was not to be so for here I sit bearing all to you. For whom would I be as a writer of fine stories if I did not report so clear an example of the old adage, “Pride Goethe Before the Fall”?
Go ahead and laugh…
Everyone else in Bitburg Germany is…