I sat down at my computer this morning with glee… the kiddo is sleeping and I have a few free moments and nothing to do! I came to blog… I’ve sat here with an open blank screen for 20 precious minutes… It has occurred to me that I no longer know how to blog. I have fallen into this trap of thinking that if I have a moment to sit down what I write needs to be email to the family worthy as well so I can kill two birds with one stone. I have forgotten how to blog for ME. I have forgotten how to just visit with YOU. I miss it so much. So I’ve decided to just talk…
Things are nuts around here. When are they not?
We are crazy busy doing a thousand little chores and projects around the house. Imagine that you are about to lose your husband for 7 months and be left alone with a new toddler and then think of all the things you won’t be able to get to and you have an inkling of the list we’ve been whittling down!
We are preparing to take a whirlwind trip home to Phoenix so Ryan can see the family again before he leaves. We have about 4 weeks until we head out for that.
Just a few short days after we return home from that trip Ryan leaves for a class out of state.
A few weeks after he returns home from that class he’ll (if all goes well because he REALLY needs to finish this course work before he deploys) be leaving for another class out of state.
When he returns from that class we’ll be on a very short countdown to his departure date and then Isaac and I will be alone.
I’ll be here on my own until late September when my friend Emily comes for a visit and then we’ll road trip with her back to Phoenix where I’ll stay through Christmas. I’ve never been one of those ‘go home during a deployment’ types but I can’t pass up the help in the car on the way home and I can’t stomach the thought of going back and forth with Isaac for holidays all fall so once I’m there I’m staying put!
I’m doing okay in the mean time. Just a little worried about how I’m going to do it all without help. I don’t talk about it much but my surgery left me with certain handicaps. I don’t complain because HELLO I’m alive and I don’t regret it for one moment but it makes life a little difficult sometimes. There are a few little things but the big one is this… Post surgery I am a super low energy person. It has to do with how my body now processes nutrients, vitamins and minerals. I take huge horse pills of vitamins and iron supplements every day. It wasn’t really a huge deal until I got pregnant… Now I’m exhausted all the time and struggle with having any energy when a sleepless night hits (which is often lately!) so the thought of going for 24/7 for almost 7 months just makes me… well… TIRED! But I’ll get through it… If there is one thing I’ve learned over 8 deployments and TDY’s it’s that you adapt or die. 🙂
It would help if I could get this blasted baby weight of. I have about 15 pounds I need gone. I know that doesn’t sound like much but it’s keeping me from getting into my clothes and making me feel crappy about myself so you know what? It needs to get gone. We have a family/deployment photo shoot on May 1st. I would like to be well on my way to having a handle on it by then so that maybe I could fit into something pretty for our first official family photos!
A huge big terrible thing staring me in the face is happening tomorrow. We are putting Isaac into the CDC for a few hours for the very first time. (Child Development Center basically the bases version of Day care) They allow us to do an hourly drop off and after much discussion Ryan and I decided that I need to put him in once a week for a few hours to clean house and prep meals and just rest since I won’t have any kind of a break with him gone. I HATE to do it but as I said I’m so low energy that I just can’t see how I can do it all. We decided to start now so that he’s used to it by the time Ryan goes and I just am having such a hard time with it. Isaac has had a babysitter exactly three times in his whole life. My mom twice for an hour when we went to put each of the boys to sleep and Emily once for an hour when we took Yoda to the vet when he got sick. That’s it… Major separation anxiety going on here… We decided tomorrow would be the best day since Ryan has a mental health day and we can do work around the house and stay close in case we are needed… Say a prayer for me if you think about it… I’m not excited about this… I recognize logically that this is a necessary step but I’m just not happy about it…
Oops the kiddo is up! Should not have wasted those 20 minutes!
I’ll be back soon to chat your ear off again I hope. Sorry if this was all over the place!