Okay I visited everyone and it took me hours!!!  Sorry I got so behind though.  What a weekend you all had!

Good morning Xangaland!

Sorry it has been so long since my last entry.  I have, as always, been quite busy.  Life it seems will never slow down and so I must learn to just work around it.  LOL 

Saturday and Sunday were good days.  We got a lot done.  Both the cars are washed, the dogs are washed, and the laundry and dishes are caught up.  The house is also clean to the corners. 

We had a wonderful Memorial Day too.  For the first time in years we didn’t have a party or barbeque.  (Lack of Funds!!) Instead we had a wonderful lazy day just the two of us.  We woke up early and spent a little time playing xbox and then got ready for the day and settled in to veg.  We watched the original Star Wars Trilogy from beginning to end!  While doing that I finished one baby blanket and actually got through about half of the next! I still have four to finish after the one I am halfway through, but I admit I am a little farther on than I had hoped to be.  I know, sounds boring, but oh it felt good to have not only a day to do nothing but the knowledge that if you wanted to there would be nothing to do anyway!!!

So as I mentioned before we are broke so that makes tomorrow a very special day.  PAYDAY!!!!  Can’t wait for that.  LOL  That makes today a work on the computer and work on the blanket day.  Tomorrow we need to go shopping to restock our dangerously low supplies.  Then Thursday will probably be another movie night.  On Friday I am going out with Emily haven’t seen her in over a week which is unusual.  Then Friday night from 4pm to 9pm Ryan has the first day of his motorcycle class through the base.  He also goes Saturday and Sunday from 12pm to 5pm and then he will be done and fully licensed! 

Oh and for all of you that are so completely enjoying the beautiful weather where you are, please remember that we have already reached 114 this year and are now all locked in for the next six months or so!  Hot hot hot here in the valley of the sun!

So that is pretty much it.  There is really nothing else going on.  We have a busy but fun week ahead of us. 

Song of the day? Love me Tender by Elvis.  Because some days you just need to hear the king crooning!  And today is one of those days.  Sing on Elvis sing on……


We’re off today to work on the cars with my dad.  Should be interesting.  Ryan, Dad, and I are putting a cold air induction system and a new muffler system on the new cars we just bought.  It’s supposed to give us about 25 extra horsepower between the two additions.  We shall see. 

Last night we went and saw the Diamondbacks vs. Dodgers game and we lost.  Grrr  We went with Ryan’s family and it was fun but we lost.  I had to do breathing exercises to keep my head from exploding my blood pressure got so high. 

I know what your thinking……  What kind of a girl is this?  She likes cars and baseball?  No just kidding!

Nothing much else going on just going to come home and clean up a bit.  Still working like mad on the baby blankets so maybe that’s what I’ll do when I get home.  Have a great weekend!

Song of the day?  Caught In the Rain by Revis  Why?  Because this is one of my favorite songs and one of my all time favorite rock bands.  Ryan is sitting here telling me I’m weird because I’m a girl who likes cars, sports, and rock but I also like crochet, dogs and babies.  What a guy!  LOL 

Here’s the lyrics if you want them. 


“Caught In The Rain”

Is it real?
We’re always the same
We’re almost alone now
Well, I was caught in the rain
Wasting my time on the ground

Waiting to call
Well, what would you say?
And, can you come over?
Well, I was caught in the rain
Wasting my time on the ground

It was you
Who could get me high
With whatever you say
You’re telling me something real

What we do
It doesn’t matter now
Whatever it takes
For you to stay with me

Trading thoughts
Across from the room
I saw you surrounded
Well, I was caught in the rain
Wasting my time on the ground

Feeling small
Without an escape
I almost let you down
Well, I was caught in the rain
Wasting my time on the ground

It was you
Who could get me high
With whatever you say
You’re telling me something real

What we do
It doesn’t matter now
Whatever it takes
For you to stay with me

You made me feel
Made me feel


I know he hasn’t written anything new but go check our Ryan’s site.  He had me rebuild it after Star Wars!  Do you love his picture! 


Hey everyone I was tagged by Callie316 to do this so here you go. Hope everyone is having a good day today. I am out and about once again. Talk to you all later.


1.  Total number of books I own?


I at the tender age of 24, own over five hundred books. I am a bookaholic and a speed reader. I can knock out a five hundred page book in a 6 hour period. I don’t usually do that though. But, because of how quickly I read I like to read books over and over so I like to own them. So basically I own my own library!


2.  The last book I bought?


I believe the last book that I bought was the new Frank Peretti, MONSTER.

<FONT 3.  The last book I read? 3. The last book I read?


The last book I read was MONSTER and it was wonderful. However I am at this time reading Subterranean by James Rollins who is quickly approaching a favorite author rating from me.

4.  5 Books that mean a lot to me? 


1. Pride and Prejudice is my favorite book of all time.

2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy by JRR Tolkien

3. C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia

4. The Amelia Peabody series by Elizabeth Peters

5. Of course My Bible


5.  Tag 5 people and have them fill this out on their blogs:








Song of the Day?  Wild Horses by The Sundays Why?  Because I have had this song in my head for about 3 months and I didn’t know who sang it and they are obscure so typing out lyrics never got me a hit and I just now stumbled across it and I’m so happy!  So here you go…..

Good morning Xangaland,

Today I have quite a busy day.  Ryan is off so we have a bunch of errands to run.  Then we are off to see Star Wars!  Very excited about that.  Tonight Ryan’s baby sister graduates high school which makes me feel very old.  Ryan’s younger brother is in town too.  So it will be good to see him and spend some time with him.   I will try to update more later.  I have to go Star Wars awaits.  Everyone take care.


Look what my mom found for me the other day.  Can you believe this?                  

Life is a Journey not a Destination……  and this woman has just been a bit weary the last few days.  Please pardon my melancholy. 

There was a time when things were so bad for Ryan and I that we were hard pressed to find a bolt of lightning in the storm let alone a silver lining.  Now things are so much better.  There are blue skies for miles with just dots of dark storm clouds here and there and all of them have a lining of pure silver three feet thick…..

And yet some days the dark is all I see.  

Some days it’s hard to remember that those dark spots don’t necessarily mean rain sometimes all they mean is a little shade. 

The dark in life sometimes is just all in the perspective of the person experiencing it.  I woke up today feeling so much brighter and realized all the clouds are still there.  The difference is that I realized that they don’t fill the sky at all and so today things are better. 

So today I make myself a challenge.  I challenge myself to see all the good in life daily.  Regardless of how busy, stressed, or pressed for time I become.  I challenge myself to appreciate the beauty of this life God has provided.  To enjoy the warmth of this hot summer sun and love the shade that those dark little clouds provide.  To realize the wonder of all the little things around me, the song of a bird, a mushroom grown overnight in this arid dessert, the cactus in my yard with dinner plate sized flowers, the smell of Arabian Jasmine on my front porch, the flag waving from the front of my house, and the men it represents, the simple fact that life is all around.  The knowledge that it is a gift.  I challenge myself to live in the knowledge that every little thing that happens along my path has been experienced and survived before, yet every instance is unique. 

I challenge myself to stop and smell the roses.

Would you like to join me? 

Song of the day?  Breath by Michale W. Smith.  Beautiful song, it sings straight to my heart.

this is the air i breathe
this is the air i breathe
your holy presence
living in me
this is my daily bread
this is my daily bread
your very word
spoken to me
and i….i’m desperate for you
and i….i’m lost without you



This was written by a girl who lived in a beautiful glass ball.  She could look out at the world but only through this glass.  The world outside could not touch her, she was safe.  The life she lived was contained in this ball.  One day her world was shattered by a pain she couldn’t have known existed.  There was no more barrier no protection and the real world crashed in.  She found in that moment of desperate pain and anguish that sometimes your walls have to shatter for the truth to lift you up.  In the midst of her shattered world she found that God held her close and loved her even without her pretty glass ball.


The Truth

Falling, spinning, lost, no where to turn.
Cold hands grasped my body as I feel.
Dragging me sideways, up, down, but never stopping me.
Cruel words erupted.  No love, no warmth.
Where was I? Why was I here?

I closed my eyes and remembered my life before this place.
All that I had lost, what had I done?
Who would come for me, my bridges were burned?
How would I survive?
No one here even knew my name.

I grew accustom to the darkness.
Numb to the cold.
Indifferent to their indifference.
Content to know this would forever be my home.

Suddenly, my whole world lurched.
I began to fly heavenward.
In a gentle hand I was carried.
I grew warm and comfortable.
What had happened?

I was reluctant to the change.
But the warmth felt good on my body.
For the first time in so long,
My memories mirrored my life.
Who had done this?
Who had changed my world, my life?

I opened my eyes.
You are there.

I find myself struggling to write this morning.  I feel almost desperate with the need to express my feelings, to just pour out what it is that is torturing my mind.  I have this overwhelming urge to express what it is that is causing such mental anguish.  But I can not.

And I don’t know why.

It is the most unnerving feeling.  As if I am running through dark halls expecting the roof to cave in on me any moment ducking my head trying desperately to get out in time.  When in reality I am strolling through a field of daisies.  I feel so rushed and harried.  I can feel that frightening expectancy that sometime haunts me when the world closes in and yet… there is nothing.  Nothing is going on in my life.  Nothing more than usually.  Yet I wake every morning with dread in my heart as to what the day might bring.

What could this be? 

The leftover anxious feeling that I might possibly have to move?  But why?  I trust God to do what is best for us and in the end I am waiting for a group of politicians to decide if we MIGHT be moving sometime in the next 10 years or so.  Why would this weigh on me so?  Yes I am a bit anxious about moving but it would be an adventure. 

The dread of summer coming?  The last of the good whether rolling across this dessert?  But why?  This life is nothing but seasons.  Without this scorching heat burning away the cool air and abundance of moisture there would be no need for the summer storms that are so fantastic here in this dessert.  This is life changing, ebbing, flowing, just being.

The fear that Yoda is getting old?  The anxiety at seeing Ryan’s younger brother again?  Waiting for payday?  Needing to paint parts of my house but I’ve been too busy?  Doing my yard?  All the little things that are with me daily?

A thousand little things and nothing at all.  Why this weight, this burden on my spirit?  This feeling that almost mimics being a child at the end of summer.  When the knowledge that  there is a week left of summer creeps into your mind and you desperately try to enjoy that week before school starts again but that freedom is tainted by the smell of Elmers school glue, peanut butter, and crayons dancing on the horizon.  But what would be looming for me? 

Maybe it is simply my own inability to capture my feelings that creates this sense of foreboding.  I don’t know, and maybe this and only this is the problem.  Maybe it is more, but what can I do about it?  Nothing but wait.  I say it often, that Life is in the journey and not the destination. So I will go on living, and growing, and marching forward and if life should throw a few punches along the way………. SO BE IT!  This is life. 

I will be patient I will wait……

“18 ….Sit still, my daughter, until you know how the matter will turn out, for the man will not rest until he has concluded the matter this day.”  Ruth 3:18

I will trust God.  His promise is to stand with me. 

My pastor ,this Sunday, talked about being thrown in the furnace as Shaddrac, Meshac, and Abendigo where.  They were bound and gagged and thrown into a fire to die.  The king looked in and asked his servant ‘How many men did I throw into the fire?’ ‘Three my lord.’ The man answered.  The king replied, ‘ I see four men loosed and walking in the fire and one appears as the Son of God!’ 

There were four men because God walked with them and notice how they were loosed, they had been bound and gagged.  The fire of this world burns away only the things of this world…

This scripture has been on my heart this week…. “1 Fear not, for I have redeemed you.  I have called you by your name.  You are Mine. 2 When you pass through the waters I will be with you and through the rivers they shall not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you.  3 For I am the Lord your God, the holy One of Israel, your Savior.”  Isaiah 43:1-3 Funny how it ended up being something I so desperatly needed to hear. 

So I will trust, and put this worry from my mind and my heart….  God is faithful.


The BRAC list just came out, and has caused quite a stir in my little world.  BRAC stands for Base Realignment And Closure.  Luke Air Force Base, where Ryan and I are stationed is not scheduled for closure, thank goodness.  However we are scheduled for realignment.  The realignment they have proposed doing over the next few years involves some pretty intense moves.  Here is a clip from the website describing what they are going to do…..

Air Force Actions:

What: Retire 37 F-16s.

Why: This recommendation is part of a larger effort to consolidate the F-16 fleet.

What: Move base-level LANTIRN intermediate maintenance activities to establish a CIRF for LANTIRN pods at Hill AFB.

Why: Creating a CIRF for LANTIRN pods at Hill compliments other CIRF recommendations as part of an Air Force effort to standardize stateside and deployed intermediate-level maintenance concepts.

What: Move positions from base-level Logistics Readiness Squadrons to establish Logistics Support Centers at Scott AFB, Ill., and Langley AFB.

Why: This recommendation is a transformational opportunity consistent with eLog21 initiatives that standardizes Air Force materiel management command and control. This recommendation realigns RSS manpower (from three MAJCOM locations) and base-level LRS manpower (from three installations) into two LSCs in support of Combat Air Forces and Mobility Air Forces. 

Joint Actions:

What: Move instructor pilots, operations support personnel, and other associated personnel and equipment from Luke AFB, Sheppard AFB, Miramar MCAS, NAS Oceana, and NAS Pensacola to Eglin AFB.

Why: Establish an Initial Joint Training Site for joint USAF, USN, and USMC Joint Strike Fighter training organizations to teach aviators and maintenance technicians how to properly operate and maintain this new weapon system.

I know that this is a lot of information and most of it is technical but from what everyone at the base can get out of it they are sending over 2,000 men and women to Eglin AFB in Pensecola Florida.  As far as anyone can tell this move would most likely include Ryan.  I don’t wish to hurt anyone’s feelings but Florida is the last place in the United States either of us would like to go.  Neither of us like the beach or ocean much we are both mountain and pine tree people.  It is so incredibly far away from the huge family group we have here in Phoenix, and both of us are born and raised desert rats!  The humidity in Florida almost killed Ryan in March!  I don’t think we would survive June!

So the only course of action we currently have available is sit and wait as with all things military.  However the higher ups say that there will come a time when they offer the guys the ability to choose where to go before they are moved to Eglin.  When that time comes we are going to put in for Mountain Home AFB in Idaho or Hill AFB in Utah.  They are the closest two to our family.  Both within a days drive, a long day yes but a days drive none the less.  The housing in both areas are affordable, and in both places we could buy a fairly good size bit of property to raise a family on. 

Nothing is yet set in stone, it is only a bunch of theories running around.  It sure has everyone’s blood up though.  What is funny about this it that Ryan and I tried for four years to leave Luke AFB and never could get out.  We finally gave up and admitted defeat and then when we sat down and really thought about it we decided it was for the best.  We are both born and raised here, with huge extended family around both of us.  As you know I can throw a barbeque and in only one weeks notice I have 43 people in my home.  If I had more notice and a larger place I could have over 150 all related in one way or another.  I had over 300 people at my wedding and most of them were family or those who have known Ryan and I since birth. How could I justify not raising a child here in this?  How could I justify taking my children away from all the cousins they would have their age.  Right now alone there are five children all under a year old that my children would grow up with just as I did with their parents.  How can I leave?

So we settled and bought our home and decided that this was the place to stay no matter how badly we wanted a better climate, family was everything.  Now this…. So we sit and wait because I have learned one thing in this last few years, God is faithful to Ryan and I.  Every plan we have had that has not worked out, and has caused such pain can be looked back on now and we thank God it didn’t happen.  No matter what I can trust that what happens will be for the best.  So I won’t panic or rush in I will just wait.  I won’t like it much but I will just wait and see. 

“1 Fear not for I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name, You are Mine. 2 When you pass through the waters I will be with you and through the rivers they shall not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, not shall the flame scorch you. 3 For I am the Lord you God…..”

All  you Harry Potter fans out there go here and watch the new teaser trailer!!!!  So excited!!!!


Oh yeah and by the way the new Amityville Horror is one of the absolutely most frightening movies I have ever seen.  I have to admit that I cried….. a few times…. lol Of course when I saw the original I didn’t sleep for three days so it should have been expected.  Talk to you all later.