Well… the secret is out…

I guess by now you’ve all figured  out that blogging is taking a back seat… pretty much until Isaac goes to school at this point. 

Life is… life.

We are still dealing with giant ugly legal stuff back home.  Even though we aren’t there it feels like I spend hours every day on the phone and emailing back and forth with family members… because it’s legal battles on several fronts at this point…

If you haven’t seen my protected stuff, in three years time three of our parents have had cancer… BOTH of Ryan’s parents currently do…  My father in law is just about ready to get out of the hospital after extensive and extremely invasive surgery for his bladder cancer.  He lost his bladder, his prostate, a bunch of lymph nodes and is going to probably have chemo.  He’ll have 6 to 8 weeks of intense at home recovery which will include visiting nurses…  all with the two little kiddos in the house that they are now raising…  It’s been rough and it doesn’t really look like it’s going to get easier soon.  So we help in any way we can…

My health is… eh…  I had all my treatments and still feel terrible… I need to see a specialist again to see if my treatments need to be adjusted.  I can’t see a specialist until we move back stateside.  I’m on a two year care plan here under regular docs who don’t know anything about my condition.  It’s a mess.  So this is me.  I’m tired all the time and struggle to play with my kiddo… this is why we hired a maid. 

Oh well… I’ll do the best I can… fight for the best care I can… and know when things have to give… and for now Xanga is a big part of it.  I also spend a TON of time posting things on facebook because that’s where my family is… It’s the only way they can experience Isaac other than phone calls now and then… so it’s where my time goes these days.  Find me there if you want to keep up… It feels like coming here is just redundant… I don’t have the energy to share things twice and I don’t have the energy to write my thoughts or feelings out…  I’m exhausted in every way and choosing to give what little I have to Isaac and Ryan.

Other than that we’re okay… I’m struggling a bit…  The political and religious atmosphere make this tour… interesting… And the general feel of the short tour it is make friendships hard…  We are pretty much on our own while we’re here.  It’s lonely… and the fact that I’ve lost you guys as a large part of my life leaves a hole… But I just can’t be here…

If you want to take me off your lists I understand… I’ll keep my site open, I’ll read as often as I can, I’ll be here… but I think it’s time I admit that I’m not going to be HERE for a while… instead of writing an apology blog every few months. 

I miss you… having you in my life has been an honor and a blessing that you can’t imagine!  Love you,

Courtney