Ten Secrets

I have seen a few of you doing this and I just really wanted to take a shot at it!  I can’t promise I’ll finish it in ten days but I’m going to work hard to finish it before you forget that I ever started!


Ten Secrets

1. I hate puppies.  Yes you heard me right.  No I don’t need you to cast out any demons.  I really truly in a most intensely genuine way HATE puppies.  When you look at a puppy and see a sweet ball of kisses and fur I see 12 months of cleaning up pee, poop, hair and teeth.  12 months of those horrible sinking gut moments where you KNOW that the puppy did not just eat your laptop screen, poop in your high heels three minutes before you’re supposed to walk out the door for church, or pee on your son’s toys three minutes BEFORE you took it out of your son’s mouth.  Don’t get me wrong I love Spock I’m glad he’s a part of our family but in all honesty I can’t wait for the magic moment when he turns 1 and this is all behind us.  SHUSH that belief is all that’s keeping me sane.

2. I put a deposit down on my engagement ring BEFORE Ryan bought it for me.  I loved it so much and was so afraid that he wouldn’t be able to afford it that I took matters into my own hands.  He proposed three days later with THE ring.  I snuck back to the jewelers and retrieved my deposit with a serious case of shamefaced.

3. I came seriously close to having the wrong spelling of Ryan’s name on our wedding invitations.  I had known him my whole life with not one single occasion to see his name written down.  I thought his last name was spelled L-O-B-B.  Fast forward to a few months before our wedding.  My maid of honor, Emily, and I are out shopping for the wedding and took a break to have lunch with Ryan.  We had just discussed going to order the wedding invitations after lunch when Ryan walked in.  He was wearing a ball cap that had the word L-A-U-B-E embroidered across it.  I glanced at it and wondered for a second what it said and dismissed it.  About ten minutes later Emily piped up and asked, “Ryan, I’ve been wondering what your hat says?”  He looked at her with the most incredulous look and replied, “Uh it’s my last name… you’re joking right?”  I let our a horrified sigh of relief… I had been within an hour of ordering wedding invitations with the wrong name on them! 

4. I spent the whole three years we lived in Germany desperately wanting to go home and shop in a Walmart.  I am utterly ashamed that I did not take full advantage of the amazing opportunity that God had set before us and sometimes wonder if the horrific ghetto walmart I am now saddled with as my ONLY shopping avenue is His punishment for my ungratefulness.

5. I’m absolutely lousy at making friends.  It took me two years to make friends in Germany… I had six months with those wonderful ladies and I’ve spent two years missing them.  As a result I spend the majority of my time alone. 

6. I think that John Cena’s arms are the sexiest things I’ve ever seen.  I watch truly terrible B movies just to see his shirts get progressively ripped up and his arms come out to play.  Rawr!  The funny part is that nothing else about him is attractive to me… just the arms.  🙂  (and this one is not a secret to ryan!)

7. Sometimes I miss being fat.  I feel like I’ve got a foot in both camps and that means I don’t belong anywhere.  I identify with girls that struggle with their weight.  Sometimes I catch myself jumping into their conversations with an enthusiastic “I know exactly what you mean/feel” and get this look that screams “What is she talking about!  She’s making fun of me!” and I realize that unless you know my entire back history I am just a skinny girl that is acting like my extra 10 pounds is the same as their extra 100.  On the opposite end of the spectrum…  I don’t fit in with skinny girls because I DON’T understand being upset over a few extra pounds and I DON’T wear bikinis because they would show my scars.  I can’t be flip about my weight because of the long HARD battle I fought to get here.  But until the day I walk around with “I USED TO BE A FAT GIRL” tattooed on my forehead… I just don’t fit in.

8. I hate non fiction.  I try and try and try to better my mind by reading a biography or a self help book and in the 11 years since I graduated high school I can honestly say that I have finished reading exactly ONE non fiction book.  Forget bettering my mind… give me a good old fashioned paperback any day of the week.  I’m a speed reader, I go through hundreds of books every year but the 9 non fiction books I’ve been working on for literally YEARS are still stacked on my nightstand collecting dust!

9. Right after Isaac was born I peed my pants.  Ryan was taking a turn changing a diaper and Isaac anointed him as a first time father.  He shot gun diarreahed all over Ryan… it hit the wall five feet BEHIND Ryan.  It was in his hair… in his mustache… on his lips…  He absolutely froze in disbelief and I started to laugh so hard that I peed my pants…  Actually I peed my pants and all over the floor and as I ran for the bathroom I heard my husband yell, “Oh great now I have to clean up the boy without help and then you too!?  So yes, I peed my pants when I was 29 years old.

10. I am secretly terrified about this deployment to Afghanistan.  I trust God 100% with Ryan, Isaac, and me.  I know that nothing will happen to Ryan before God is done with him.  I know that God has full control of his steps and that he’s safe as long as God ordains that he is… but there is always that little fearful voice in the back of my head that HAS to remind me that someday God WILL be done with him… and it could be one day in the next six months.

This took me FOREVER!  As in hours…  I have wanted to do this challenge since I first saw it and this was the challenge that tripped me up.  Simply because I don’t have many secrets… I try to be an open book and it was like pulling teeth to come up with ten things! 

Until the next challenge,



6 thoughts on “Ten Secrets

  1. Wow. I identify with pretty much all you’ve written here except the weight thing. I struggle with mine because I’m overweight. The puppy stage stinks. I agree and I have no desire to have a puppy again. I hope you have a great week!

  2. This was and EXCELLENT read C!  Made me think that maybe I should be doing this writing challenge!  Enjoyed every secret you revealed!  Who knew?

  3. Wow. This confessional was amazing. My heart is with you in the deployment. Steve doesn’t go for a while yet, a few months or next year, but our whole unit is downrange. Steve is working around the clock doing everyone’s job here, from commander to newbee enlisted, but he’s home. HOME. And I know what a gift it is. He’s on the next cycle. Zap us here and in FB with prayer requests.I must confess that I have no idea who John Cena is and I’m too lazy to google him.

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