Is this how you blog?

I sat down at my computer this morning with glee… the kiddo is sleeping and I have a few free moments and nothing to do!  I came to blog… I’ve sat here with an open blank screen for 20 precious minutes… It has occurred to me that I no longer know how to blog.  I have fallen into this trap of thinking that if I have a moment to sit down what I write needs to be email to the family worthy as well so I can kill two birds with one stone.  I have forgotten how to blog for ME.  I have forgotten how to just visit with YOU.  I miss it so much.  So I’ve decided to just talk…

Things are nuts around here.  When are they not? 

We are crazy busy doing a thousand little chores and projects around the house.  Imagine that you are about to lose your husband for 7 months and be left alone with a new toddler and then think of all the things you won’t be able to get to and you have an inkling of the list we’ve been whittling down!

We are preparing to take a whirlwind trip home to Phoenix so Ryan can see the family again before he leaves.  We have about 4 weeks until we head out for that. 

Just a few short days after we return home from that trip Ryan leaves for a class out of state. 

A few weeks after he returns home from that class he’ll (if all goes well because he REALLY needs to finish this course work before he deploys) be leaving for another class out of state.

When he returns from that class we’ll be on a very short countdown to his departure date and then Isaac and I will be alone.

I’ll be here on my own until late September when my friend Emily comes for a visit and then we’ll road trip with her back to Phoenix where I’ll stay through Christmas.  I’ve never been one of those ‘go home during a deployment’ types but I can’t pass up the help in the car on the way home and I can’t stomach the thought of going back and forth with Isaac for holidays all fall so once I’m there I’m staying put!

I’m doing okay in the mean time.  Just a little worried about how I’m going to do it all without help.  I don’t talk about it much but my surgery left me with certain handicaps.  I don’t complain because HELLO I’m alive and I don’t regret it for one moment but it makes life a little difficult sometimes.  There are a few little things but the big one is this… Post surgery I am a super low energy person.  It has to do with how my body now processes nutrients, vitamins and minerals.  I take huge horse pills of vitamins and iron supplements every day.  It wasn’t really a huge deal until I got pregnant…  Now I’m exhausted all the time and struggle with having any energy when a sleepless night hits (which is often lately!) so the thought of going for 24/7 for almost 7 months just makes me… well… TIRED!  But I’ll get through it… If there is one thing I’ve learned over 8 deployments and TDY’s it’s that you adapt or die.  🙂

It would help if I could get this blasted baby weight of.  I have about 15 pounds I need gone.  I know that doesn’t sound like much but it’s keeping me from getting into my clothes and making me feel crappy about myself so you know what?  It needs to get gone.  We have a family/deployment photo shoot on May 1st.  I would like to be well on my way to having a handle on it by then so that maybe I could fit into something pretty for our first official family photos! 

A huge big terrible thing staring me in the face is happening tomorrow.  We are putting Isaac into the CDC for a few hours for the very first time.  (Child Development Center basically the bases version of Day care)  They allow us to do an hourly drop off and after much discussion Ryan and I decided that I need to put him in once a week for a few hours to clean house and prep meals and just rest since I won’t have any kind of a break with him gone.  I HATE to do it but as I said I’m so low energy that I just can’t see how I can do it all.  We decided to start now so that he’s used to it by the time Ryan goes and I just am having such a hard time with it.  Isaac has had a babysitter exactly three times in his whole life.  My mom twice for an hour when we went to put each of the boys to sleep and Emily once for an hour when we took Yoda to the vet when he got sick.  That’s it…  Major separation anxiety going on here… We decided tomorrow would be the best day since Ryan has a mental health day and we can do work around the house and stay close in case we are needed…  Say a prayer for me if you think about it… I’m not excited about this… I recognize logically that this is a necessary step but I’m just not happy about it…

Oops the kiddo is up!  Should not have wasted those 20 minutes! 

I’ll be back soon to chat your ear off again I hope.  Sorry if this was all over the place!

Courtney

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15 thoughts on “Is this how you blog?

  1. I can’t imagine what it must be like to prepare for your hubby to leave … again.  But if there is one thing I know about you, my dear, it’s that you are strong and can do ANYTHING.  You’re basically Super-Mom!  Wish I could be closer to help, but I know you got this.  I’ll just pray you through it! Love you!

  2. My heart aches just thinking of what you must feel getting ready for Ryan to leave. I’ll be praying that CDC goes well for Isaac, and for you! I have the utmost faith in you. You are amazing and I know you can do this! I’ve missed you so much!

  3. Yay!  It’s good to hear from you!  I’m glad you got to sit down and just chat for awhile.  I’m so sorry that Ryan is going to be gone so long, but I’m glad you are taking advantage of the time that you do still have together.  That has to be so rough with having no energy.  It sounds like the hour a week is just what you need to get some stuff done or get much-needed rest!  I hope it goes well for all three of you tomorrow!

  4. I pray that things go great tomorrow with Isaac. And that your time together as a family goes by slow and great and get to enjoy every minute of your time together as a family.

  5. Think of it as a Social time for Issac. He will get to make baby friends and learn new things. Its very hard to let someone else watch your baby, especially your first. I know I had a hard time leaving Abby with anyone, now I have a few very Trusted people I am Ok leaving her with, but I still don’t like it that much. She also goes to preschool 2 days a week for 4 hours each day and that was hard at first too, but now we both look forward to it, she has friends and I can get things done without her “help”. Not sure if you have done it, or had it checked since Issac, but you might want to get your Thyroid Level Checked. It can lead you to be exhausted too. I know after I had Abby I was dragging, way more than I thought I should and ‘lo and behold, I had a low Thyroid. I know you have more issues than that, but I’d still get it checked, It might help. Its not uncommon for Women to have Thyroid issues after having kids. So glad to see you back on here, blogging for you. I have been out of it too and am trying to get back to it as well. Love-Snow

  6. What a great update on you guys! And those photos at the top of your site are beautifully artistic.Steve deployed all the time when we dated, but I was working full time and caught up in my professional life and a few friends when we wasn’t around. I have yet to have him deploy while we’ve been married (thank you, Lord, for his IP job at Laughlin and his year as a student) but that’s all about to change. His unit just left for a really long one, and he’ll be in charge while they’re gone (again a gift to me…we’re hoping I get pregnant during this time)…but then he’ll be gone SO SO SO much. And I imagine I will be a go home kind of girl. I plan on road tripping to visit some relatives and then be in Virginia. As hard as it will be emotionally, the CDC sounds like a great idea. My mom never knew that moms could do that, and she was MISERABLE while my dad was gone. Imagine a year deployment, and 4 kids…7, 5, 2, and 6mos. With. No. Help. She wishes, in hind sight, that she’d known to get babysitters for her own sanity. You’re being smart. I  know you know that, but I just thought you might like to be encouraged.

  7. I agree that you are going to need help.  Too bad Del Rio isn’t more happenin’ so you could get someone to come to you to avoid the CDC germs.  You looked great in all your pregnancy shots.  I didn’t realize you had gained more than about 20 lbs.  🙂  You are such a beautiful woman.  I agree with an above commenter-could you get all your levels checked?  Make sure all is well.

  8. Oh my girl….anyone in your shoes would be a bit overwhelmed.  I know you’ll get through it though.  You’re obviously a tough woman who loves her family!!  I think the CDC thing is a GREAT idea!  I bet that time will be so useful to you.  I bet it will be hardest the first handful of times (for both of you), but once you see the kiddo is good & happy, it will get easier.  *HUGS* & *PRAYERS*

  9. @sharingjoy – Agreed!  But there aren’t a whole lot of options here at all…  Other than one woman on base who does in home daycare my only options are teenagers who go to school during the day.  (and that woman only takes full time kids so that is NOT what I want)  So the CDC it is…  I only did gain 20 pounds!!!!  Grrr but then nursing made me so hungry and at the end of almost 2 years of unchecked eat all I want… (it may not be WHAT I want but it’s ALL I want) I’m back up to 15+…  Time to get this in check.  If  God chooses to bless us again I want to start at the bottom again!  Oh and yes I’m going to get my levels checked.  I know I’m low energy but this is ridiculous and I hadn’t even connected a thyroid problem!

  10. @sharingjoy – He chose to run a bunch of blood tests…  15 days ago.  They are not all back yet and so they won’t talk to me at all about the results.  I have to wait for them to call me and set up an appointment for us to discuss the results and we’re about to go on vacation…  I’m guessing I’ll find out sometime in June and maybe be able to do something about it… oh… maybe by November?  LOL

  11. @sharingjoy – They just called me… the reason it took so long was because they were waiting for the final results and finally called the lab only to find out that the lab knew nothing about the last two tests they were waiting for and didn’t draw enough blood.  So when I get home I have to go back in and do those two over.  Here’s the kicker… My thyroid came back normal but even with being on over 400 extra units (can’t remember if it’s mg’s or what) of iron daily since I came back serverly anemic at the beginning of my pregnancy I’M STILL ANEMIC!  he wants to go ahead and run the iron and b12 tests first then explore where we can go from here… but that explains the exhaustion…

  12. Oh, no!  We are using Floradix for iron.  It comes from Germany. It’s sold at all natural food stores or on-line.  I read tons about it before buying it.  🙂  So sorry that you are still anemic!  (it’s not constipating if that’s important to you)

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