Today’s post is my writing assignment for the Kween_of_Queens blog ring.  Please go HERE to read more entries like this one.


The difference between a Lady and a Woman.


This topic has deffinatly given my pause over the last few days…. For as obvious as the answer to this question was to me when I first received the assignment it did not stay that way for long.  The more I pondered the question the more the answer eluded me.  There is no cut and dried answer and the more I think upon this question the more I am convinced that the answer is different for every person…. so here is my answer.


For me the difference between a Lady and a Woman can best be described by the pictures of pioneer times…. 


~  ~


Often when thinking of these times in our history my imagination is pulled by the Ladies of society back east… When everything revolved around how much of a Lady you could be.  What social circle you belonged to, what kind of marriage you would make, what kind of life you could provide for your daughters, all this and more rested upon the shoulders of a Lady.  They were elegant, educated, admired wherever they choose to go. 


Woman who exude that elegance… that little something extra that makes you admire the motions of their hands and the gentle sweep of their hair..  Gentleness in spirit that draws you to them…


But is not a Lady made of tougher stuff than this?  Does she not have a quiet strength to withstand the trials that come her way?  Is she not also a Woman?


~  ~


When I think about the pioneer times my imagination is also drawn to the pioneer Woman.  She is a Lady who chooses to leave her home, pack up all the things she must absolutely have and a few secret things that she can’t imagine living without.  The last trappings of being a Lady. 


Somewhere along the journey out west the Lady becomes a Woman… maybe it was watching the Lady that rode in the wagon two behind hers succumb to illness and die… buried along a road, left behind but never forgotten.  Maybe it was seeing the young girl whose family owned the wagon in front of hers loose her leg to snake bit and then die of fever.   Never allowed to grow up and become one or the other.


Maybe it was just being one of the only survivors.  She survived only to spend the rest of her life in hardship.  Leaving behind her refined home with indoor plumbing for a small shanty with dirt floors… (Though in two years they should have enough money from the harvest to put down planks, that is of course if nothing happens to the crops.)  Trading her life of polish for one of work. 


But is not a Woman made of gentler stuff than this?  Does she not have elegance about her when she sweeps out her little dirt home?  Does she not still plant the few seeds she brought along with her and have flowers in the spring?  Is she not also a Lady?




You see for me, in my mind the difference between a Lady and a Woman is nothing more than circumstance.  I believe that we all have both inside of us… and how we live and what we survive determines which we will be. 


I see both in myself.


I see the Lady in the blankets and jewelry I make.  Gentle gifts and crafts for a Lady’s hands.  The gardens I tend, nothing like flowers to grace a Lady’s home.  The times when my spirit is quiet and gentle and my heart is moved for the people around me…. It is then I am a Lady.


I see the Woman in the place I have carved out for myself in this world, despite the odds.  I see her in the children that have slipped through my hands.  The losses that have made me stronger.  The times when my spirit wants to battle and my heart is moved to protect the people around me…… It is then that I am a Woman.


I see both in every woman.




25 thoughts on “

  1. This is beautiful, Courtney…and so very true. I think you could be a great writer if you took this woman above and shaped her life into a very touching story. You’ve got wonderful talent. Maybe, one day, we’ll write a story together. This post made me think of some things and when I realized it was too long to leave here as a comment, I decided to post is privately on my own sight. No need to write little books for you here…lol
    And this song is suitable in discribing a woman. There is just something about it…

  2.  I agree with your post also!! Great Job!! And I love my new printer it’s extra fast and it’s an all in one so I dont even have to leave my desk anymore!LOL! I am glad they cought the guys also and they got back what they had taken which was great!!

  3. Awesome post Courtney… Your always so creative and true with all the assignments.. Much love to you*hugs* Loved how ya put it relating to the poineer days.. Leslie *hugs*

  4. Hi…that was wonderful…what great points..wish I has more time when I did mine…love your thoughts…enjoyed this vert much and just love the music…take good care and nice to meet you….Lee,

  5. Well Ma’lady that was written so good I felt as if I was there, that was me the strong woman/Lady your writing reaches the soul and I love coming here and seeing what you have to share with us. Keep them coming!


  6. WOW!!!!  Now that was a great post!!!!!!  I love these posts so much because I enjoy seeing how differently our minds work/approach a topic!!!  Yet every one that I read I can relate to, also!!  Happy Friday!

  7. Oh my goodness girlfriend, I saw that picture of your man and you in a liplock and I could barely read the post.  I’m gonna have to go back twenty years to see if we have a picture like that.  if my hubby locked on to me like that now I’m sure I would have a heart attack.  I think i have to head off to the emergency room.

  8. You’re already a life long friend, Countney. I believe that God put us in each other’s lives for a reason…and what excites me the most…is that I have a feeling He has yet to reveal why. There will be something very special that will take place…whether it be that God answers the prayers of our hearts at the same time and we are able to enjoy that moment together…or to lift one another up down the road when life tries to rob us of happiness. There is something…but I know that whatever it is, God is going to do something wonderful…
    Your Aunt Kathy sounds wonderful! I think that I am a lot like that…taking to praying over someone at a moment that doesn’t seem altogether appropriate. But isn’t that when God moves us to action…when we are least expecting it? I remember when my Great Uncle Tinley was passing away that the whole family was breaking down. We were all crowded together in the hospital room and people were sobbing…just waiting for him to die. All of a sudden, I turned to my cousin and told her that she had to sing, “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus.” She looked at me like I was crazy, but I could FEEL that is was what God was telling me. Slowly, she began to sing and the room quieted down. You could breathe in God’s peace as everyone began to sing. Uncle Tinley seemed to relax and he died shortly thereafter…
    Not exactly and appropriate moment to most people, but ah well.
    I’ve got to get off here as well. I have to pay a visit to said cousin up above. She’s going to have a baby next month. We grew up together, were best friends, she’s two years younger than me, and my heart will suffer immensly from visiting with her. I haven’t seen her all big and pregnant…and I’m afraid that when I leave…I’ll be suffering for want of what she’s about to be blessed with. I can feel God tell me, “Just a little longer…” but sometimes it still rather haunting.  🙂
    PS: I’ve got to try and learn to write small!!!

  9. Wow Courtny
    That was the most beautiful writing I read in a long time. I agree with Emma, you need to delvelop these charcters into a story. You have a talent that is just waiting to be tapped into.
    Love Lo

  10. Yes, that is a wonderful way to illustrate it, pioneers and ladies, “the sweep of her hair” .  I’m thinking Ma Ingalls –I agree with you, of course.

  11. Excellent post. The best entry I have read on this subject. You’ve understood the subject very well.Thanks for your comments.P.S. IF you do visit my blog, please remember to sign into xanga first beacuse my posts are protected.See ya,~MK~

  12. that is so funny, your post above this one, cause i have actually googled myself just out of curiousity to see how many times i show up, cant say anyone googled me by doing pb and j though!!! that is awesome!!!  hehe!! anyway, great post on lady vs woman.  

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s